Finding relief for grief is something that sounds altogether impossible some days. That’s probably because grief isn’t a surface-level scrape that heals over a few days and then stops hurting. Grief runs much deeper and shakes the very foundation of our lives. Most likely, you’re experiencing or have experienced the multidimensional impact of this all-too-human experience – a blend of emotional and physical pain tied together in response to loss.
Each time you say goodbye to someone or something significant in your life, grief shows up, in many forms, without an invitation. This pain of loss that you have is a natural response and should totally be expected. After all, it’s a testament to the bonds and connections you’ve formed with a person that is no longer here. The grief journey is as individual as a fingerprint, with no ‘right’ way to process or timeline to follow. But as you’re probably aware of, it’s often in emotional waves and not always predictable.
Understanding that grief is an intersection of mind and body helps you find compassion for yourself in your suffering. It amplifies the importance of addressing both emotional and physical pain in the pursuit of healing. Just don’t focus too much on perfection in the process; grief is, after all, a deeply personal journey that unravels and reveals itself in due time.
Navigating the Emotional Storm: What Would Protect You?
So, the purpose of this relief for grief activity is to find out what emotions or situations or people are causing you to feel like you want to shield yourself from. Like when you wish you could just magically grow a great big bubble around you and everybody or everything outside of it that bothers you just bounces right off – preferably into outer space somewhere. You’ll know what those moments are when there are times that you feel like fleeing or fighting or any emotion that is extremely painful to you.
Expressing emotions is akin to opening a pressure valve—and is often imperative for relief. Whether through tears, conversation, or art, articulation helps prevent the internalization of pain, which can manifest in more profound issues later on.
Don’t worry too much about doing this activity “the right way”. Grief is not about correct procedure; it’s about honest feeling. Take a minute to look at the current moments in your life where you are deeply triggered and what you wish you could be protected from.
Materials:
This is a pretty simple activity, though you can make it as elaborate as you desire.
You’ll just need either:
- Drawing materials of your choice, such as paper and colored pencils
Or
- To find and print images online. If you need a good place to find nice, clear and free images, check out Pixabay or Unsplash. Or you can look through some old magazines if you have some available.
Extras you might need:
- Paper
- Tape or glue
Instructions
- Find your Guardian Angel. So, the first thing you’re going to do with this activity is exactly that. Go through your magazines or search to your heart’s content online and find a picture or image that represents who or what you would pick as your Guardian Angel. It can be an animal, a person, an inanimate object, whatever you want. Just look until something strikes you as: Yes, that’s what I would like to be by my side to shield me from pain. You can also choose to draw your vision of a Guardian Angel if you’d prefer to do that instead.
- After you’ve found your image, cut it out, print it, or draw it. Then, tape or glue it onto a piece of paper. Make sure your image is small enough so that you have lots of space left on the paper for writing. The paper doesn’t matter, you can choose construction, notebook paper, it’s up to you. Another alternative is to just copy and paste your image into a program like Microsoft Word where you can resize it instantly and leave space underneath to write.
- Underneath your chosen Guardian Angel, write why you chose this image to protect you and what it protects you from.
Some ideas to get you started:
What is it about the way your Angel looks that attracts you as a protector? Are they big and strong? Are they tiny with wings? Are they simply a beam of light?
Does your Angel make you feel certain emotions such as cozy, brave, fierce, mysterious, quiet, or something else entirely?
What would your Angel do when it’s protecting you? For example, what if someone came up to you and said to you and your grief, “Get over it! Move on! Don’t waste time on the past!” How would your Angel respond in your defense? Would they tap them with a magic wand and magically change their thoughts or just turn them into a toad?
My Guardian Angel
When I first started this activity, I thought for sure I would pick one of my favorite animals to be my Guardian Angel, which would be a cat or a horse or an owl.
But surprisingly, when I thought about it further and researched some reference images, I found myself drawn to dragons! I’m not sure why a few dragons popped up when I wasn’t even searching for that term but you know how the internet is. Anyway, I kept finding my eye distracted by them. Maybe it’s because of how fierce so many images appeared to be, yet many also conveyed an aura of wisdom and intelligence. That combination appealed to me. I knew that this was the Angel form that I would envision protecting me from not only grief and all of its triggers but anyone or anything that might harm me.
For this activity, I have two dragons to share with you. One that I drew and one that I found online. Both of these dragons are what I’d like to be my Guardian Angel.
This first one is the one that I found online (courtesy of Pixabay). I liked how this little dragon was full of color. I also liked how he seems to have both cuteness and fierceness. I feel like he’s cute enough to feel friendly but at the same time will totally burn you to a crisp if you do or say anything mean.
This second dragon is the one that I drew. I made mine a little more on the fierce looking side rather than cute. I guess I was feeling that way at the time. Sometimes grief triggers make me feel very vulnerable and raw and it felt good to make a somewhat snarly looking Guardian Angel that will stand by my side and protect me from:
- Snipey, harmful comments
- Getting treated like my grief feelings or any feelings don’t matter
- Feeling left out or like I don’t belong
- Gaslighting (This one really makes me want to scream sometimes)
- Nightmares
I also used construction paper (I drew the design on the paper then cut it out), paint markers and random pieces cut out of magazines just to add some texture and interest. You don’t have to do that, you can make your Guardian Angel whatever way you want. Or just choose an image online that speaks to you and radiates “protection” for you. And feel free to share your image and why you chose it by sending it on over to me, nikki@grievingarts.com. One day, I’d like to create a visitor gallery here so that I can share other people’s creations for inspiration! Or, if you’d prefer, you can just comment in the box below on who or what you picked as your Guardian Angel and why and what they would protect you from.
Shielding the Heart and Protecting Ourselves from Pain: Being Your Own Guardian Angel
So, remember, choosing to take care of ourselves isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a hallmark of strength. It’s just essential self-care, but not the kind that’s just about bubble baths and good books.
In my opinion, acknowledging our limits is essential for self-preservation. Self-care includes recognizing when we’re inching towards the edge and being proactive in setting boundaries. It’s about giving ourselves permission to prioritize our needs and say no when necessary.
Protection from pain doesn’t mean building an impervious wall around our hearts. Instead, it’s about creating a buffer, a space where we can process our emotions and sort through our experiences without feeling overwhelmed. It’s giving ourselves the grace to communicate our needs and also to step back and recharge. So, for example, if you find out through this activity that you are wishing for protection from your anger due to certain comments that someone is making, then you can then try to figure out what you need to do to give yourself more of a sense of safety and protection. You can tell that person to stop and why, and if they continue, then you can limit your interactions with them.
Just don’t focus too much on perfection. Your self-care strategy and emotional defenses evolve with your experiences. What works today might need adjustment tomorrow, and that’s perfectly okay. Allow yourself the flexibility to grow and change as you learn more about what makes you feel safe and strong.
So, once again, I’m wrapping this up with a reminder that grief is a journey — one that’s uniquely personal. By recognizing our emotional needs, valuing self-care, and learning to gauge and respond to pain’s signals, we equip ourselves with tools to survive loss. Basically, this activity was about choosing things that resonate with you in your day to day life so you can get started on building that fortress of protection.
As always,
take care of yourself,
Nikki