Today, I want to show you an art activity I tried on how to remember loved ones. With this activity, you can create your very own personal memorial that you can keep and possibly hang up for you and anyone else to see. And if you celebrate Day of the Dead or Dia de Los Muertos, then you can put your completed memorial piece on your ofrenda. Whatever you choose to do, it’s a way of honoring the memory of a loved one, celebrating their life, and gives others a chance to learn about them.
Sometimes, memorial activities like this can bring solace to grievers because it makes them feel close to the person they lost again. It can make them feel reconnected in some way and like they are brought back to life, even if only through paper, pictures or words. Sharing the memorial artwork with others, especially fellow grievers can help, too. Extra support from others is always needed and appreciated through something like this.
At the same time, memorial activities can trigger grief and sadness further. Reminding yourself of your person and how they are no longer here can be painful. So, if you find that this is too triggering for you to do, then that’s okay, too. You might find that it’s just too soon and you could try revisiting an activity like this a few months later and see if you are able to do it then.
Whatever you need to do to support your grief is an individual journey.
Purpose/Benefits
One big reason why this activity can be so helpful for grievers besides the ways I have already mentioned, is that seems to reassure us that this person that meant so much to us is not forgotten. And that they did not just disappear. Death has a very unsettling way of making it feel as though people have just vanished into thin air. It is stressful and unnerving and seems impossible. How can someone just vanish like that? As if they were never here? Never lived? Of course, we know that they were here and they did live but the only reason we know that is because of our memories.
We live in a world that moves on and moves fast. Reality has no time for grief and we often feel left behind to muddle through this all alone while everyone else returns to their normal lives. It’s stuff like that that can make grievers feel like their person, who was so loved and so important, is now just forgotten. That’s where a memorial activity that helps us to remember our loved ones can no only benefit us but benefit other people in our lives.
Some people already do small memorials in their homes, such as hanging a photo of the person on the wall and having it in a designated place where they can see it daily. Sometimes, people light candles as a reminder. Others keep things that their person made or books that they read in prominent places at home or in the office. There are many small examples like these in which we memorialize the people we miss.
Materials
- Watercolor paper 8″ X 10″ (make sure it is labeled as either watercolor or mixed media paper because other paper will not hold water well) (you can find a pad for under $10 at Walmart or Amazon. Sometimes, Dollar Tree has some but it varies from store to store.)
- Watercolor paints (you can get these inexpensively from Amazon or Dollar Tree.)
- Small paintbrush (not too small, you will be using this to cover your paper. The smaller the brush, the longer it takes.)
- Fine tip markers or pens (colored pencils can also work but may not be as bold)
- Construction paper
- Glue
- Photo of your loved one (optional, see step 7 below)
- Masking tape (optional)
- Stickers (optional)
- Old Magazines or decorative papers like those used for scrapbooking (optional)
- Anything else you want to add for further embellishment
Instructions
This activity has a little bit more to it than the other artsy activities I’ve posted so far. Make sure you read through all the instructions including the “Extra Options” below so you can get an idea of what you’d prefer to try.
- The first we’re going to do is get out our watercolor paints and a sheet of watercolor paper. If you have a sturdy board or table, you can use masking tape to tape your paper down. The reason for this is that watercolor paper may buckle a little once it is wet. Taping it down can help with that. But it’s not a requirement.
- If you’re not familiar with watercolor, it’s okay. Hopefully, I will simplify this particular process in a way that doesn’t seem too intimidating. You need a small cup of water to wet your paper. Dip the brush into the water and lightly wet the entire surface of your paper.
- Choose up to three different colors. You can choose colors that were favorites of your loved one or just whatever you like. You can choose more if you wish but three will be a little easier to work with. Also, the more colors that you choose, the more likely you are to get a more muddy look, which you may not want. You are also free to choose less than three colors.
- Dip your brush in the water again to activate one of your chosen paint colors. Just dip your brush into water then drip a few drops onto the paint and dab/swirl around a little. Make sure you rinse the brush in between colors!
- Now, dab that first color into various places on your paper. The already wet surface on your paper will spread the color.
Then, rinse your brush, and go on to the next color and do the same. Repeat with the third color and any others that you have chosen. You can see a video of me painting my watercolor background below. You can let the colors touch each other or not at all. It’s up to you. - Let this dry. Then, repeat steps 4, 5 & 6 until your colors are as rich as you want. With watercolor, you may have to do this several times if you want extra bright results.
- After your painting is fully dry, place one (or more) of these things in the center of it:
- A photo of your loved one
- The name of your loved one
- A symbol representing your loved one
8. With construction paper, cut out small simple shapes such as squares, circles or hearts. Make them big enough to write a few words on because you’ll need that in the next step. But also, make sure they will fit comfortably on the background you have painted. You’ll need to paste those on now.
9. With your fine tip markers or pens, choose a color that will show up well on the construction paper shapes that you have cut out. Then, write some things surrounding whatever you chose as your center that tell us about your person. You can tell us:
- A favorite memory you had with them
- Their favorite color
- Their favorite food
- Their favorite drink
- Their favorite animal
- Their favorite hobbies and activites
- Something they always liked to say
- Something funny they did
- What you miss most about them
Extra options:
Instead of painting, you can rip up different colors of construction paper and paste it onto your paper to give it a mosaic look.
If you did choose painting and enjoyed it, you can take more watercolor paper and paint in a color different from your background, then cut out your shapes from that paper instead of construction paper.
Instead of writing, you can go through old magazines or decorative papers used for scrapbooking and clip out pictures that tell us about your person. For example, if they liked cats, you could cut out cat pictures and paste those on there. Magazines always seem to have plenty of cat food or litter ads. You could also use a combination of these picture cutouts and the writing if you want.
Use stickers that describe your person and to decorate your picture. You can find these online or in crafts stores or in Target or Walmart. There are so many stickers with words, quotes, animals, hobbies and activities that you can use.
My Memorial Results
As always, I wanted to provide an example by doing this activity with you and so I chose my late husband, Charlie, who I lost to cancer. When I first started this, though, I had trouble with it because of the feelings it brought up. I don’t think I could have done this in early grief at all. I already had to deal with the memorial service then and I just felt nothing but numbness. Everything was a blur and I just drifted around like a zombie. I would never have been able to do something like this then except maybe with a support group or therapist. But I didn’t seek that out until nearly a year later when grief finally caught up to me.
But everyone is different. Some people may need to connect with their person right away through an acitivity like this. Others may be more like me and need a whole lot of time. So, it’s been almost seven years since Charlie died now, and I still had trouble with it. Doing this was a reminder, more proof that he’s not only gone, but my kids don’t have him either. It’s strange but even though I know he’s gone, I think some small part of me still thinks that if I don’t do stuff like this, it didn’t really happen. That this was all just a dream. My life since he’s been gone still sometimes feels surreal and dreamlike.
But, I still managed to do this memorial for Charlie. To explain the figure in the middle, this is a logo that he drew himself and used for his graphic design/illustration/cartooning business. Our kids always loved it. They used to carry around stickers with this logo on it and put them everywhere because they loved it and loved their daddy so much. I also chose colors that Charlie liked and wrote the things I remember best about him. You can click to see it up close. It made me tear up many times and I took many days to do it because I had to pause. But this memorial is probably perfect timing for me because the anniversary of his death is coming up on November 11.
My materials:
Watercolor paper 9″ x 12″
Watercolor paints
White gel pen
Charlie Brown stickers
Decorative scrapbook papers
If you can hear us, we still love you, Charlie.
Your Turn
And now, I’m going to stop because writing all of this is making me tear up again. As you can see, it doesn’t matter how much time has passed, I still cry over what happened. I will have to pause and let you try this yourself and see how making a memorial for your person makes you feel. As I mentioned above, if you celebrate Day of the Dead, this is a perfect activity to do so you can put it on your ofrenda. If you’d like to share anything with me, I’m always happy to see it and support you. Just send your image on over to nikki@grievingarts.com. You can also just comment in the box below.
But, if you feel like I did and this is just too much of a reminder of a reality that you didn’t ask for, I understand that completely. Be gentle with yourself and revisit this again later.